There was this episode in the TV show Lost called “Room 23.” It was basically a room where the Dharma Initiative locked people in, blasted music at an inane level, and showed them this video.*

*Watch the video. Watch all 2:58 of it with your sound on (preferably with over-the-ear headphones on for full-effect).

You don’t really need to understand who or why or what was happening. That’s not important. Just tell me: how do you feel after watching that video? Okay, now imagine how you feel at this very moment, then multiply that feeling by 100 — that’s exactly how I felt after the SuperBowl yesterday.

It wasn’t really a secret who I wanted to win this game. It should have been relatively obvious (outside of the fact that I wrote a quick blog post about it yesterday). So when I saw Jermaine Kearse blow my mind* and break the collective hearts of Patriots Nation as his predecessor David Tyrie did not so long ago, I couldn’t temper my excitement any longer.

*How sad that this unreal catch is going to be nothing but a footnote of this incredible game.

My irrational anxiety for a team of whom I had no real vested interest could finally subdue. The Seahawks were going to win the SuperBowl, and I didn’t have to go to work the next day pissed off that the most loathsome franchise in all of professional sports were going to win another championship. Things were looking mighty fine for me.

That was, until about 90 seconds later when Pete Carroll and co. decided to make the worst play call in the history of life.

No, not the NFL. Life.

It was so horrible, I don’t even have many words to describe it.*

*That’s when you know something is pretty terrible. When I literally don’t know how to describe how I feel. And considering I always have something to say, this is a big deal.

I was perplexed. I’m still perplexed 5 hours later as I’m writing this post. I do not understand the thinking behind the call. Seattle has one of the best running backs in the league, and he had been running for positive yardage throughout the entire game. New England had yet to really challenge Marshawn, and the Seahawks were 2 yards away from the goal line. They had 3 downs left with 1 timeout. I do not understand how someone named BEASTMODE is not your option all 3 times?

I heard Carroll’s explanation, and while his logic sounded reasonable, at first, upon the second time hearing it, it still doesn’t make sense to me. His rationale (which was very long-winded*, mind you) was that they didn’t want to run against New England’s goalline defense, so throwing the ball seemed like the right decision on 2nd down. If they didn’t get it, the clock was still stopped, and they would be able to run on 3rd or 4th down, if need be, and use the timeout, if they had to.

*Anyone who tends to give these long roundabout answers always makes me think they know they fucked up, and they haven’t quite yet figured out how to answer the question yet. So they just say EVERYTHING that’s on their mind, and it becomes convoluted and unclear and sounds like they don’t know what they’re talking about. Kinda like my blog posts. 

If I’m playing armchair coach, my thinking is simple: “of the players I have, who gives me the best chance to win in this situation?”

Marshawn Lynch is the answer. Every. Single. Time.

Every single time. Even if he doesn’t get into the end zone, at least you know you gave yourself the best chance to win because you gave it to your best option. I mean, am I crazy? Doesn’t that just sound right?

I am so thoroughly confused. I cannot understand the play call whatsoever. An incomplete pass stops the clock too! Why would you want to keep time on the clock??? And why keep the ball out of the hands of your best player? And why pass the ball in the middle of traffic? And why are pass plays even in your playbook at this point??? WHY???? WHY??!?!?!?!?!

OMG. I feel like nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like the Seahawks just completely shattered my worldview. I feel like Marty McFly in Back to the Future 2 when he went back to a really shitty version of 1985. My whole world has changed, and I don’t know what to think of it. How am I supposed to handle this?!

I’m less upset the cheating Patriots won another SuperBowl* and more upset that the Seahawks handed them this victory on a silver platter.

*This is a lie. I’m very upset. It’s the Patriots. My disdain for them and their fans goes way beyond some silly Tuck Rule baggage. Trust me. 

I’m still in disbelief that this game had to end the way it did. It’s unfortunate, really. It was a well-played game between two very evenly matched teams, with some underlying narratives that would make telenovelas look boring*. The fact that it had to end on the dumbest play call in the history of sports shouldn’t sit well with true sports fans.

*I knew I was going to write a post-mortem from the game. I thought I would spend most of this post talking about how much I hate the Patriots and Tom Brady and wish they would just disappear. I didn’t think I would go through this entire post-mortem without referencing deflategate in the first two paragraphs. My god, Pete Carroll, what have you done???

I’m so confused. I feel like I will be for a while. I feel like the video above makes more sense than calling a pass play on the 2-yard line with BEASTMODE as your running back . No, I’m almost positive it does. And that video makes no sense whatsoever.

2 thoughts on “BEASTMODE: OFF. DUMBMODE: ON.

  1. Let me first say I dont think it was the best call of all time, but I certainly can defend it as not being the worst call of all time. There are a few things that need to be considered when looking at the call, and im sorry but Beast mode only scored 1 td on 7 attempts inside the 2 for the season, so making the assumption he easily gets in is wrong. Thats not to say that he doesnt get in, but as a coach you need to plan that he will get stopped atleast 1 time. Also there were 25 seconds on the clock and seattle only had 1 timeout left after the crazy catch. Lets just say hypothetically that the seahawks run on the play and dont get in. What happens? Lets say it takes 4-5 seconds to corral beast mode and officially get him down. so there is 20 seconds left and the seahawks use their timeout. Now its 3rd and goal from the 1 and seattle has no timeouts. Now seattle has to call 2 plays in the huddle on the off chance that he gets stuffed again, or is it ok to then call a pass on 3rd down? lets assume again that they stick with beast mode and again he gets stuffed at the goal line. Now you are racing the clock, and with the Patriots being who they are, they are gonna use every trick they can including getting “tangled” with lineman, laying on top of lynch, whatever they can do to make sure that the clock is running and the seahawks arent getting a play off. What happens if they manage to kill those last 15 or so seconds and seattle never gets a play off on 4th down. Now Carroll is the worst clock manager in the history of the super bowl. All im trying to say is calling it the worst call in the history of the super bowl based on its results, isnt fair cause yes the worst case scenario happened, but what if you hand it to beast mode and he fumbles, or gets stopped, its still the worst call ever. This shouldnt be about a bad play call it should be about the excellent coaching that had the cb recognizing the play before it was run, and him making an incredible play because his coaches told him exactly what to look for and exactly what to do when he saw it. Besides I have seen coaches tell their qb to spike the ball and kill the clock when it was 4th down which gave the ball away at the end of a game, thats certainly worse then this was.

    1. The stats about Marshawn being 1 for 5 attempts doesn’t really matter. They could have run a read option for Wilson and that would have still been the better play. A pass play just seems like the worst call in that situation. With that one timeout, they should have had two plays ready to go for 2nd and 3rd down, and if they didn’t get it on 3rd, use that timeout. They could have run it down to prob 7 seconds or so and then game over. I don’t think it’s inconceivable to run the ball 3 times within 30 seconds with 1 timeout. It’s not impossible, it’s definitely doable. And they have two threats to run…Marshawn could have acted as the decoy if they wanted. When it’s the most important drive of the game, you go with your strength. Their strength is the run game, and they decided to pass. If I were a Seahawks fan, I wouldn’t be upset if we lost the game using our strength. But they didn’t. That’s what makes it the worst play call ever.

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