Replace Yo’ Self Foo!

Even in Internet memes, hockey gets no respect. SMH

Let me tell you a little story…

As per usual, during NFL season, my Sundays consist of morning football, afternoon football, and Sunday Night football. And then, of course, the next day, Monday Night football. Needless to say, football rules the beginning of my weeks pretty hardcore.

This weekend, while in my normal routine, I had the gall to say something so incredibly blasphemous, that even I’m embarrassed to admit it.

I was watching the morning games with some peeps, and I casually said, “You know — I haven’t really noticed the replacement officials at all.”

***pause for the ensuing laughter***

I know right? Yes, I really said that.

The funny thing is that this past weekend, their errors were so ridiculously glaring that the real NFL officials finally ended their lockout yesterday.

But the even funnier thing is that I only really noticed those horrendous errors this weekend, as well.

But hold up, hold up, hold up — before you start to question my football IQ and my sports credibility, let me get a chance to explain myself.

I am a Raider fan (duh?). As a Raider fan, I’m conditioned to believe there’s a conspiracy in the NFL  against the Silver and Black, more specifically, the way NFL officials call a game or certain play*.

*I didn’t really want to link this stupid play on my page, but it only reiterates my point. Fuck you, Walt Coleman. Fuck you, Tom Brady.

Year after year, the Raiders were tops in the league in penalties called. Every. Single. Year.

Now, anyone who knows football (or any team sport for the matter) knows that teams are dynamic and change from one season to the next. This inevitably means — there are NEW players on the team. It also could mean that there’s a new coaching staff (and in the case of the Raiders, it was a new coaching staff every 2 years). How can a team continue to be tops in the league in penalties called if the team changes all the time?

The easy answer is to just say the team isn’t disciplined. The real answer is that there’s a conspiracy to sabotage the Raiders (spoken like a true Al Davis brethren).

In a nutshell, the reason why I said “I haven’t noticed the replacement officials at all,” is because I guess I was just used to crappy, shitty, inconsistent calls on a normal basis because that’s what happens in Raider games all the time. Fans of  the other 31 teams were getting pissed off at calls on the field and blaming the replacement officials for their incompetence, and to those fans I say, “Now you know how it feels to be a Raider fan. I’ve always felt the officials were dumbasses.”

However, the Monday Night Game in Seattle was a travesty. Enough has been written and enough has been said about what an embarrassment that night was for the league. I share the same sentiments as 99% of the sports world.

Needless to say, as much as I hate the regular NFL officials, I am glad they are back. And now, they can go back to screwing the Raiders on a weekly basis. Awesome.

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