You probably don’t know who I am because I don’t update this blog much at all anymore. However, you can’t say it’s for lack of trying. If you were to look at my post queue, you would see that I’ve started a bunch of really interesting posts ranging from my thoughts on Linsanity, how baseball/Bud Selig hates Ryan Braun, and how the Raiders are having the best offseason ever, but I just never got around to finishing them. I try my best. One could say, I’m getting better at it, and I’m showing signs of improving, but I just can’t finish.
The discouraging part is that I was actually pretty decent at keeping this blog updated a few months ago, say October-November. I was on a roll, posting at least 2-3 times every week, with no downtime. My routine was like clockwork, and after years and years of trying to be consistent with a blog, I had truly believed this was the year I would get it right.
But then something strange happened. I can’t quite put a finger on it.
Maybe it was when I started my new job. I’m on the road a lot now so my free time is limited. Typically, when I have a lot to do, it forces me to become more organized and cognizant of what needs to be done. I think I completed 2 real thoughtful posts, 1 assorted weekend thoughts post, with about 6 posts halfway done sitting pretty in my queue, with one of those posts being a video. So if we’re keeping count here, that’s a 2-6-1 blog record for February. That sucks.
Whatever the case, it’s March. I need to stop fucking around. It’s time to get serious. I’m writing this post just as I’m about to leave for Las Vegas. Yes, I found the time to get this blog updated because why? Because it needs to happen. It needs to happen now. If I’m really serious about being a writer/blogger/self-centered egoist who thinks her opinions about sports actually matter, then I need to do better. I need to be better.
The past is the past. You can’t change what’s happened in the past. The good thing is I’m still in a position now, a very good position, to right the ship, and get back to my old ways. Looking at my blog stats over the past few weeks, people are still reading and visiting this blog, which is awesome and I thank everyone for continuing to be interested in whatever nonsense I have to say. But then I feel bad because this is not who I am. I feel bad for not living up to my own high standards.
This is going to happen, the blog will be updated more, I promise you. And if for some reason it doesn’t, it won’t be for lack of trying or having no heart. Because I want this to happen just as bad as anyone else.