There was a point during the NFL playoffs this year where I felt I wasn’t going to be able to watch the SuperBowl. That point came the moment I realized there was a very strong possibility that the Patriots could play the 49ers for the title. I was desperate for the Giants to beat the Niners in the Conference Championship game for reasons even I think are ridiculous, in hindsight, but the following actually happened:
- I was becoming a very mean and spiteful person, probably losing some friends along the way. (Well, if I’m being honest with myself, they weren’t REAL friends anyway.)
- My mood was getting progressively worse with every Niner win. I swear I needed a valium or zoloft or something to calm me down because I was getting way too serious about a stupid football team.
- Much to my dismay, I was actually cheering for the Patriots in their championship game only because I had to think of which team of the two (them or the Ravens) had the best chance of beating the Niners should the Niners advance. In my mind, the Pats were that team (although, I may have been wrong in that assertion). Consequently, if the SB ended up being Pats vs the Niners, I was convinced I would burst into flames if I had to cheer for the Patriots two weeks in a row. I know what blasphemy is, and I know it’s a sin. So I told myself I just wouldn’t watch the game if that were the case.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry about any of that.
I was glad I didn’t have to avoid the SuperBowl this year, and I could watch it in peace.
But I wasn’t exactly excited about the game. In fact, I found myself gradually becoming disinterested in the game as the two weeks went by. The ESPN propaganda machine was in full-force spouting out wall-to-wall bullshit about this being another great New York-Boston rivalry, and the greatness of Tom Brady and whether or not Eli Manning is elite and is the greatest defense ever and blah blah blah. To be honest, I don’t know if that’s true because I avoided ESPN for two weeks, but I have to think that was close to the coverage on the channel.
Even though the revenge factor was in play, the game still did not have the same allure as the 2007 matchup. The fact that the Patriots were undefeated and lost to the (at-the-time) lesser Manning brother who threw a prayer into the air that was caught on the helmet by a guy who is no longer in the NFL was a story only told in Hollywood. The league couldn’t have written a better script than that. And for Raider fans, that game closed a chapter* (not the book yet) when Brady was pummeled by a guy named Justin Tuck in the end, who, ironically, put down Brady in a key moment on Sunday, as well.
*That chapter is probably titled “Karma’s a bitch and his name is Tuck. Suck it, Brady.”
The ill-advised safety via intentional grounding was exhilarating at the beginning, but then the game just kind of lost steam and became a defensive enigma. I actually fell asleep for part of it. I did wake up to see Madonna though. Two thoughts: 1) Way better than the Black Eyed Peas (but that’s not really that hard to top) and 2) For a 50-year old, that grandma moves better than either you or I can. Gotta give Madge props for that. And as bonus thought: 3) M.I.A. flipped off the camera? Big whoop. No one will ever top Janet so stop trying.
To keep myself awake, I made a couple prop bets. My cousin bet me this: the Patriots will run 3 running plays in a row. I said no. To hedge my bet, I said Eli Manning will throw a 40-yard pass in the 3rd quarter. He said no. Neither of it happened, so we broke even. Oh we also had an informal prop bet (or I guess it’s just a drinking game) that every time they showed a non-football celebrity or the owners box, that we’d drink. It gave me a decent buzz, but it probably made me fell asleep.
Sure, the end got exciting for a bit there. Ahmad Bradshaw’s touchdown was one of the funniest and most bizarre things I’ve ever seen. Gravity was not his friend. It was surreal to think that he could have possibly been the first person ever to be crucified for scoring a touchdown, but it was even crazier to think if he had sat down at the 1-yard line, wouldn’t it have been even more awful(ly hilarious?) if the kicker missed the FG? In retrospect, even though that wasn’t his intent, he did the right thing. Got as many points on the board as possible.
Many people will point to Manningham’s tightrope sideline catch at the biggest moment in the game, but to me, the biggest moment in the game was a missed one. Sure-handed Wes Welker missed a bulls-eye pass from Brady. 9 times out of 10, he makes that catch, and I think this was an even bigger shock than the Manningham catch. Granted, Manningham’s catch was spectacular, I’m not trying to downplay it. But Welker lost out on a HUGE miss opportunity for the Pats, and it was there I think they lost the game.
But other than all this, the game wasn’t all that thrilling. I didn’t even feel that much of satisfaction when the Giants won. It was more of a semi-enthusiatic, slightly disinterested kind of apathy. I also didn’t really remember any of the commercials, unlike the Darth Vader Volkswagen one last year. But we did figure out the formula for the commercials this year — cute animals do something cute and/or funny. Those will usually elicit a high approval rating from the audience.
And yeah…I really don’t know what else to say about that.
How about The Darkness? THE DARKNESS!
And seriously, a phone with a pen stylus? Really Samsung? What year is it 2005? I think it’s about time both Samsung and RIM throw in the towel. They’re both fighting a losing battle.