Al Davis Does Not Approve

If you’ve been keeping up with my insane ramblings, you’ll know that I went on a premature rant a couple days ago about how the Raiders were going to deliberately piss me off.

Because I’m so blatantly honest and I don’t sugarcoat the truth, many people are quick to question my loyalty to the team I say I love so dearly. To that, I tell them this — well, first I tell them to fuck off. Then, I tell them that it’s like your children. You have inexplicable, unconditional love for them, and they know that. And there is absolutely nothing they can do that will make you stifle that love.

But there are times when that child acts up, or does something stupid, or charges $499 on the credit card that’s already above the limit for the new shiny iPhone without you knowing or comes home pregnant. And that’s when you have to put your foot down and tell them, “ENOUGH! Not–uh uh…don’t look at me like that. Go to your room! I’ll talk to you when you’ve learned your lesson.”

That’s how I treat the Raiders. In fact, that’s how I treat most of the sports teams I love.

What’s interesting to me was how shockingly accurate a lot of my rant became. After the jump, I’ve posted the reaction again, only this time addressing what was on-point, along with some additional commentary taking into account the actual result (which sucked, by the way. Stupid Raiders.)

We just got beat by Tim Tebow. Tim (insert expletive here) Tebow*. I knew it. I just knew it. When McFadden was officially ruled out of this game, I knew it would not be pretty, and I knew I’d feel bad, but I didn’t think I’d feel this bad. Michael Bush performed admirably, as he did in the Kansas City game, but he’s no Run DMC. Our offense is not as dynamic without him in the mix.

Tim (insert expletive here) Tebow beat us. And Michael Bush did perform admirably (19 carries, 96 yards; 2 rec, 33 yards), but without the explosive attack from Darren McFadden, our offense just wasn’t as versatile. Love ya, MB, but you’re not Run DMC. Although, I will admit, the offense was NOT the problem today. More on that later.

*Clearly, I have no problem with swearing, but when Tim Tebow does stuff like this, I feel like I’ll burst up in flames and go straight to hell if I did. Actually, I’ll probably go to hell for various other reasons, but I just feel bad using a curse word in his name.

I still feel this way. To you, dear Mahatma Tebow Ghandi.

You’d think after two weeks of learning the playbook, that Carson Palmer would have the offense running a little better than that (opposed to the 3-days he had versus Kansas City resulting in an expected god-awful performance). I didn’t expect a well-oiled machine, but I did expect something better than what I just watched. Well, fine, I won’t put all the blame on him. That was a perfect ball he threw on 3rd and 4 that went right through Jacoby Ford’s hands. He should have caught it. I yelled so many obscenities at the TV my mama would be disappointed. Where’s Jacoby “Big Game” Ford been all year? TRADE HIM. Loser.

Here’s where it got a little muddy for me: Carson Palmer was actually pretty impressive (19/35, 332 yards, 3 TDs), but he also threw 3 INTs. I know that was part of his problem in Cincinnati, and I hope the interceptions are just a result of him not playing for 9 some-odd months. He was making some beautiful passes, albeit in very tight windows amongst seemingly triple coverage, which, against a better defensive team, would have probably been intercepted or batted down. Jacoby Ford was spectacular (5 rec, 105 yards, TD). I’m glad he showed up today. I don’t want to trade him…I was just playing. And he’s not a loser.

Housh (T.J. Houshmandzadeh) seems to still have some sort of chemistry with Palmer, which is a good sign but good lord does he look slow out there. I guess the Raiders are looking for a decent slot receiver anyway, so his role will be quite different than the one he had with the Bengals. T.J. Houshmandzadeh, the new Wes Welker? I gotta see it to believe it.

T.J. caught 1 catch for 28 yards, and he had another look which he should have had. He was playing in the slot most of the time, and it’s hard to tell if he’s slowed down or what because compared to other Raider receivers (who are typical Al Davis’ speedsters), it’s not easy to compare. I’m glad he caught a pass, though, and I can only hope with more time on the team, he can flourish.

I’m as pessimistic of Palmer as ever. The Bronco D isn’t even that good. They’re slow and they can’t tackle. Why does it take him so long to pass the damn ball? How many times was he sacked today? 15? 43? Oh, just 3. Well, it felt like double digits. And don’t give me that the offensive line didn’t do their job. Jason Campbell was barely sacked when he was behind center.

Palmer was only sacked twice. There was one time where he did hold on to the ball way too long. He had the opportunity to throw it away but ended up smacked landing straight on his bum. For the most part, this part of the rant didn’t come true. And I’m not pessimistic of Palmer. There were many passes he made today that I don’t think Jason Campbell could have completed. (And I know for damn sure that Kyle Boller wouldn’t complete them…yeessh!)

And don’t even get me started on the defense, which has been an aberration all season. What’s with Richard Seymour being too hyped for these games and drawing penalties? He should know by now that there’s a conspiracy against the Raiders, and refs seems to throw the flag a lot more freely against the Silver and Black, than they do against say, the Red, White, and Blue. Our secondary is a piece of shit as expected. I don’t even remember the names of the receivers who caught the TDs. And I’m pretty sure one of the announcers had to look up the name on his roster sheet cause he couldn’t recognize the player by number alone.

Here we go — this is the most accurate part of my rant. The defense was atrocious, disgusting, hideous…in fact, I can’t think of a word that even remotely describes how discombobulated the defense looked. After Palmer ran with the ball to make it 4th and 1 on their side of the field, I was thinking to myself, “Hue (Jackson) should go for it.” Not because Hue’s shown an affinity to be ballsy during these types of situations, nor because we had been running on them all day. The only reason I wanted to go for it was because I didn’t want to punt and let our sickening defense back on the field. I could have cared less if we didn’t convert because letting our defense on the field was conceding the win anyways.

Letting Willis McGahee run for 163 yards? Unacceptable. Allowing Tim Tebow to rush for 118 yards? Seriously? Richard Seymour drew his big penalty of the day with that facemask. I knew it was coming. (And I could go on a whole other rant about how the refs are determined to screw the Raiders with their penalty flags, but that’s a story for another day.) Anyway, 15 penalties for 130 yards?! There were a couple of times where I adamantly disagreed with the call, like I’m so apt to do during Raider games, but being a Raider fan for the past 25 years has taught me to just live with penalties. They’re going to get called, and they’re going to get called more often on the Raiders than other teams. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of boneheaded penalties they committed, like Aaron Curry’s late hit on Tebow while he was already out-of-bounds — on a 3rd and 20!!!

And I stand by my original commentary about the shitty secondary. Nothing to add.

And this is an open request to Rolando McClain: Remind me again when will you be Patrick Willis? I’m still waiting on this.

He didn’t play. Patrick Willis plays. Message not received.

I love Darren McFadden, but it seriously blows that the offense relies on him so heavily. And it blows even more that his health is a bigger concern than I had imagined. I’m still reluctant to say it, but he may, possibly be the dreaded label of injury prone.

Come back, please! I miss you.

This was awful. Just awful. I should be content with a .500 (4-4) record from the Raiders at this point considering they’ve been wretched for the past 7+ years. But what’s happening for them right now is a golden opportunity to which they’re not taking advantage. The class of the AFC West, the San Diego Chargers, are struggling mightily. The Chiefs don’t know if they’re a good team or bad team right now (I’ll err on the bad team side, despite the fact that they destroyed us and that I wear Silver and Black blinders). And The Broncos…whatever.

The good news is, the only AFC West team to win today was the Broncos. So the battle for first place pretty much stayed the same. It still sucks to lose to the Broncos. And Tim Tebow. Al Davis would not be happy.

As far as talent goes, the Raiders are just as talented, if not, more talented than the Chargers at the moment. They’re definitely younger, which is a plus. And they’re also coached better (Norv Turner should have been fired years ago). I don’t know many SD fans that would disagree with me. And if you do, well…it’s not the first time someone has disagreed with something I’ve said. And you’re wrong.

I may need to re-think this statement: The Raiders may be just as talented on offense, but I don’t think anyone’s defense sucks as much as the Raiders’ does. And yeah, the Chargers lost to the Packers but I still think Norv should be fired, and if you disagree with me, you’re still wrong.

The Raiders just frustrate the hell out of me. I swear, they’re like that good friend that’s been through rehab over and over. You want them to do so well, but when they keep shooting themselves in the foot and not learning from past mistakes, there’s only so much love you can give them after a while before you say enough. You figure it out yourself.


Next is San Diego. It’s a chance for them to redeem themselves from this horrific performance. I wish I could see into my crystal ball now. In fact, no. They might just piss me off again.

This game is on Thursday in a very quick turnaround for both teams. Both teams are at 4-4 and both teams are on a downward spiral at the moment. It’ll be one of those difficult games for me to watch. Not because the Raiders make me sad, but because Phillip Rivers is my fantasy quarterback. Sacrifices must be made.

And to top off this crappy NFL Sunday, the Niners win — again. Al Davis probably isn’t a very pleasant man right now, not that he was ever. Wherever he is, I wouldn’t want to be around him.

I hate football.

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